2015 will be remembered (among other things) as the year I was on the Kiwanis speaking circuit. If you didn’t grow up in the midwest or you aren’t of a ‘certain age,’ you might be saying, “What’s a Kiwanis?”
Well, in very simple terms, Kiwanis is a club where professional folks come together for a meal, and listen to a speaker, and encourage social and charitable contributions to the community.
But if you have ever attended a Kiwanis meeting, you know it is so much more than that dry description. These people are fierce - fierce in their love for this country, fierce in their desire to help others less fortunate and fierce in their love for one another as a community.
Kiwanis holds a special place in my heart. My father, who passed away just before Christmas three years ago, was a long time Kiwanis member and he was, (envision me with a fist pump and my best cheerleader voice to the groups to whom I spoke): “Past President of Northern Dakota County "Golden K" Kiwanis!" (That’s in the Twin Cities area of Minnesota). I actually have one of my Dad's Kiwanis pins which I wore to the meetings at which I was the speaker.
(A side note: you can be fined a tidy-sum if you are a Kiwanis member and don’t wear your Kiwanis pin. It’s not that they are legalistic - it’s just another way for them to raise money to help others. See what I mean about being fierce?)
The clubs to which I spoke were interested in hearing about my acting career. Oh boy - you would think that would be music to an actor’s ears. Who doesn’t want to talk about, “And then I did this . . . and then I did this! . . . And did you see me do this?” - the Me-Monster syndrome that comedian Brian Regan talks about.
That kind of thing actually makes me uncomfortable. No, really - it does.
In thinking about my career, the first thing that came to mind is how challenging it has been. (O.K. I wanted to write “HARD . . . REALLY HARD!”, but changed the word because I’m not fighting in a war across the world, I’m not trying to cure cancer and I’m not sleeping on the streets. Those things are hard.)
However, being asked to speak about my acting career was a great opportunity to reflect - as we are all doing on this New Year’s Eve. Reflect on what brought me out here, reflect on what has been accomplished, reflect on what hopes and dreams I am still hoping and dreaming for.
In September, I celebrated a couple-of-decades “plus” anniversary of the day I drove my car from St. Paul, Minnesota to Los Angeles (not knowing a living soul in L.A.) with some clothes, an electric typewriter (if you remember those) and a sewing machine. Being born and raised in Minnesota, a sewing machine was de rigueur.
I was beginning my adult journey of pushing myself to expand beyond what was familiar.
I was acquiring my first taste of what would become my mantra for this past year: "Get comfortable with being uncomfortable."
Becoming successful in anything requires a consistency of purpose. Chipping away every day. Even when it’s uncomfortable.
As an actor, the pull of discomfort can happen in many forms: a script that is a difficult story to tell, a fear or anxiety of being able to walk into a room of producers and casting people and have the work seem effortless (let alone a 'live' audience in the theatre), and of course, just the sheer optimism that is required on a daily basis to not give up in the face of rejection.
I have to remind myself of the reward on the other side - if I can just push through the discomfort. Just like when you are lifting weights in the gym. Doing five reps is easier, but it isn’t going to give you the kind of arms that 25 reps will give you.
But sometimes, there is the pull of things that sound like so much more fun than pushing. For me, it’s:
1) food (any kind of food really, with a special penchant for cheese)
2) red wine
3) reading People Magazine.
While doctors do say that red wine is medicinal, and we all need to eat, I really can’t justify the People magazine (although the subscription was a gift from my mother-in-law, so no exchange of my own money transpired.)
Yes, we all need those mindless moments of enjoyment. But, are they pushing us to our fullest potential? Probably not.
When I feel discomfort, I am almost always assured that some kind of change, knowledge, expansion is happening.
So as I reflected back on my career for the Kiwanis Club, I realized it’s not about my list of credits. I believe for most actors, we do what we do because we want to be a voice, we want to illuminate some aspect of life, whether it’s something the audience knows and needs to be reminded of, or something new from which we thought we were separate.
As I've noted in previous posts, Charlie Rose is one of my favorite sources of inspiration. The Pulitzer-prize winning author David McCullough was recently on the show, talking about his book on the Wright Brothers.
And Charlie asked Mr. McCullough what the common denominator is in successful innovators like the Wright Brothers.
McCullough answered: “They do not give up. And they have purpose, high purpose that they were determined to achieve no matter what.”
And he went on to say: “Every time the Wright Brothers went up in one of these flying machines, they were putting their life at risk.
“They had courage and character.
“As Wilbur Wright himself said: 'No bird soars in a calm.'”
And this is perhaps where the strength for an actor, for every human being no matter your profession, is so important:
We must determine a mission that goes beyond self. And then, it’s a decision every single day to ENGAGE. As my acting teacher Diana Castle says, we must have a clear sense of reward in the face of threat or there will be retreat.
No scars, no battle.
The heart of the matter for me is, if we do not push, if we don’t live from the place of discomfort in our lives, we won’t reach our full potential.
Eleanor Roosevelt perhaps said it best, “Do one thing every day that scares you.”
So as I look toward the start of 2016, I think my mantra will remain the same as 2015:
Be grateful for what is given, continue to push, use all your gifts, be of service (to the story or whatever it is in which you are engaged), hoping to enrich the lives of others.
Here’s to an “uncomfortable” 2016 for all of us.
